Humans are full of emotions: surprise, anger, joy, sadness, disgust… and so many more. But do we really know how we learn to live with and manage these emotions throughout life?
Emotions: like a volcano we learn to tame
Emotions aren’t meant to be controlled, they’re meant to be understood. They flow through us and sometimes overflow, like a rumbling volcano. We can’t ignore them or pretend they’re not here. The key is learning to recognize and express them in a healthy way to avoid a major emotional eruption.
Learning to live with emotions
From the earliest years of life, children begin to experience and express emotions. Hitting, crying, hiding, shouting…there are all natural reactions. But what truly shapes how they learn to handle emotions are the role models around them.
The role of parents and the environment
Parents play a major part, but they’re not alone. Children’s emotional learning is also influenced by their broader environment: extended family, educators, friends, even media. In reality, emotional regulation is a social learning process.
Why is this so important?
Imagine someone who learned, as a child, to handle anger only through aggression. As an adult, stuck in traffic, this person might react with inappropriate or impulsive behavior. But hitting the car in front of you won’t help! It’s normal to feel anger in such a situation. What makes the difference is knowing how to process that emotion, maybe by taking deep breaths, playing a favorite song, or putting things into perspective.
How to better manage your emotions?
As a parent, becoming aware of your own emotional reactions is essential, even when your child isn’t watching. This isn’t always easy. Children learn just as much from what we do as from what we say.
Key steps:
- Acknowledge that you’re experiencing an emotion, and try to name it: sadness, frustration, excitement, etc. (This is often tough for those used to avoiding emotions!)
- Find healthy ways to manage this emotion: physical activity, walking, singing, journaling, or even screaming into a pillow.
- Be kind to yourself. No one handles emotions perfectly all the time. And that’s okay, we’re only human!
Be a positive role model for your child
When you manage your emotions in healthy ways, you send powerful messages to your child:
➡️ Feeling emotions is normal.
➡️ What matters is learning to express them in a healthy way.
Need support?
If certain emotions feel too overwhelming to handle on your own, don’t hesitate to reach out to a social worker. These professionals offer a safe, supportive space and practical tools to help you move forward, at your own pace.
Simple… But powerful tools!
Here are some activities I find helpful to regulate my emotions:
- Paddleboarding 🏄♀️
- Going for a walk 🚶♀️
- Listening to music 🎧
- Watching funny videos 😂
- Talking to friends 💬
And you? What works best for you?
